From time to time every gun owner finds themselves in a situation where they are being prodded by somebody in complete awe that they are ACTUALLY speaking to somebody who owns firearms and even dares to go to a shooting range. I have been to countless dinner parties desperately trying to make eye contact with someone to save me. Of the questions that arise I’ve compiled a list of reoccurring questions that most gun owners will agree, irritate them in one way or another. So without further ado here they are:
1. Why do you have guns?!
This tops the list for me. The question is usually presented in a tone that is better reserved for somebody who just said they have a rod or uranium sitting in their living room. I’ve never liked the way this reaction comes across; it’s always as if there is something wrong with us because of our resolve for self-preservation. If not expressed it is at least implied that we own guns because we intend to do harm. My favorite answer is usually something along the lines of “I was in Walmart and figured what the hey”. I like this reply because it illustrates exactly how common firearms are. I also like to point out that they are simply sporting equipment unless used otherwise. That’s why they can be found between the camping supplies and the bicycles at the world’s largest retailer. It really isn’t a big deal.
- “Well how many do you have?!”
Again, this is usually an accusation that gun owners are either plotting some sort of mass-shooting or starting an armed cult. My reply to this starts with “well every gun is built for a specific purpose, kind of like a pair of shoes or a golf club. I honestly don’t keep track since I can only shoot one at a time”. Once again the idea is to drive home that gun owners are regular, peaceful people and guns are simply tools.
- “Which one is the most powerful?!”
You know, which gun in your safe will cause everything you shoot at to explode into fiery rubble? Which one will knock you back a good five to ten feet from the recoil, like in the movies? When I get this one I just laugh and reply, “I guess you have to ask the paper that, all I know is that they all reach and make a small hole”. Once again bad information seeping out of the uninformed, kinda like gas station sushi seeping out of… Well, you get the picture.
- “Which holds the most bullets?”
After informing them that all of my magazines not only hold bullets but cases and primers as well, I admit that I don’t really keep track. Besides, a reload can happen in less than a second, so does it really matter?
5.”Which can shoot the fastest?”
Most are surprised to find out that my AR15 doesn’t keep shooting when I hold down the trigger. Furthermore, most of these people are under the impression that going to the range means nothing but indiscriminant mag dump after mag dump while laughing with a cigar hanging out of your mouth like Hannibal from the A-team. Once again I reply with “I don’t know actually, I only shoot as fast as I can hit”.
So there you have it, these are my top five. I am very interested to see some of yours in the comments below. It isn’t easy dealing with folks like these, so feel free to plagiarize my answers during your next family function. Knowledge is the key, and we are all much smarter than the opposition because we are armed with facts , not feelings. Be prepared to defend your cause and we may just see a change in minds about gun owners and the shooting sports.
Pete says
My favorites always include the word “need.”
DNFU says
My usual reply there is that “Well you only NEED to breath once every minute or so. So why do you breath 15 to 30 times that amount?” It usually shuts them up pretty effectively.
Gary Benoit says
I ask why they din’t drive a Yugo, because it is all they need.
Daniel Braatz says
I’ve always liked automobile analogies: My favorite answer to, ‘ why do you need…,’ “Why do you need a car that goes 100mph?”
Ben says
Usually when asked WHY I own a firearm, I ask them why they don’t. When they inevitably answer, ‘Because I don’t want to kill anyone’, I respond with the data that proves there are MANY people out there that actually do wish them harm and the crime data proves it. It usually goes on for a bit longer but most times I can get them to either leave in frothing huff, or get them ACTUALLY thinking instead of repeating information they’ve heard like some grotesque Chatty Cathy doll. Unfortunately the number in that latter category is rather low.
JD says
It is called the Bill of Rights, not the Bill of Needs.
Why do you own a gun?
Why do you own a fire extinguisher? In case you need one, right? Same reason.
A fire extinguisher can’t kill someone.
It can if you hit ’em with it hard enough.
How many guns do you own?
2 at the moment, both pistols. One for concealed carry, one for home. But I want to learn to shoot rifles, so I’ll probably add one of those soon. And I’m a history buff & collector, so there’s a 1911 in my future, as well as modern reproductions of some classic western guns.
Andrew N. says
I prefer the parachute analogy. If you need one, and don’t have one, chances are you’ll never need one again.
Mark says
When asked, I explain it’s a tool, like a screwdriver or a hammer. Both can be dangerous, but are tool to be used. More people are killed with hammers and screwdrivers than with guns. A circular saw is very dangerous, but also a useful tool.
SNAKEDOCTOR says
I like that idea. I them these women & me that tools need to oiled and maintained like anyother nice expensive tool. I love tools by the way! That qualls it right away.
Alan says
Why do I have guns?
Because it’s my favorite hobby, why don’t you come out with us next time?
Del says
I love this answer and use it as well,
Timothy Yorgan says
I open and conceal carry with 1911’s in Condition One (chambered round, cocked, thumb safety ON) and invariably I get the insufferably arrogant and superior sounding…”Do you know your gun is cocked?” This always errantly implies that I’m walking around with a deadly weapon too stupid to know it’s condition and not knowing that it could discharge at any moment, causing death and disfigurement on the innocent. I used to answer in kind with…”Boy, I hope it is, that’s the way I want it and when it starts cocking itself, I’ll think of buying a different kind!” Well, that doesn’t endear the ignorant to my way of thinking, or educate them, so now I just say…”Yes, you can’t see it, but it’s the only way to get the safety on.” This way you’ve let’em off the hook for being stupid and comforted them about the guns safety. Any further objections puts them in the category of having an agenda and then I say…”We probably won’t meet again, so you needn’t worry!”
James Anderson says
Amen to your comment brother! When I first started in law enforcement most officers in my area were still carrying .357 revolvers. Nothing wrong with a .357, but definitely a PIA for us leftys if we need to reload.
My dad had a !911 .45 that he brought home from the war, and I was very proficient with it. After much debate with command staff I got permission to carry the .45 , as long as I had an ambidextrous safety installed.
In the first several months that I carried the .45 virtually every lieutenant , captain, major, and even the under sheriff gave me horrified lectures about condition one carry. Luckily for me there was one major who had been an armorer in the army. Whenever I got flack I just went to the major and had him explain the facts .
It is still kind of hard to believe that in a large department like that one most commanders were completely ignorant about any firearm but the one on their hip.
ShooterNorm says
When I was in my early ‘20’s I was shooting on private property (with permission), carrying my 1911 in Condition 1. A neighbor who hated that the property owner allowed shooting, drove by to ask about a gate, and berated me for “walking around with a cocked pistol!” He self-importantly insisted I put the hammer down. I don’t manually drop the hammer with my thumb on a loaded 1911. He wouldn’t listen. All he insisted was that I was “unsafe.” So, I fired the last few rounds while he stood there, manually lowered the slide, then dry fired it to drop the hammer. THEN, he goes, “fine, now put on the safety!” Idiot!
JD says
I carry a SIG micro with no manual safety and a round in the chamber. I’ve been carrying different 9mm striker-fired pistols like that for four years and haven’t had an incident yet. If, God forbid, I have to employ the thing I don’t want to mess around racking the slide or remembering to disengage the saftey (or later re-engage it.) I just want to be sure of my target and find the front sight. I figure I’ll have enough on my mind if it ever comes to that.
GWD says
Too true.
Daniel Braatz says
I usually just say, “Yes, thank you.” But I like the idea to try & help educate- you might even say it’s part of our responsibly as firearms owners.
Les says
This is funny cuz a “used to be buddy” started asking me these questions or others like this. He’s lost his mind with hate(for free thinkers) and recently texted that his side(he calls the the blue) now has guns so watch out!
Stephen says
Yes, but do they know how to use them LOL
JOHN says
Yes. quite a few of them do.. They just don’t talk about it that much.
john says
If you go to a range or have an area to shoot safely, invite them to shoot a .22. Shoot targets or even better a can. Everyone likes to see the can dance when hit. A short safety course and time to get familiar with the weapon, may bring a new gun owner. Especially when they see it’s not some horrible death ray,{when used properly}.
LEE GREB says
An important part of my heritage is to respond to a question with a question. So I answer, Why is there more than one language in the world?
Stewman says
1. Why do you have guns?!
Because I can. 2nd Amendment
2 “Well how many do you have?!”
Not nearly enough
3. “Which one is the most powerful?!”
Depends on the ammo
4. “Which holds the most bullets?”
Irrelevant, all have quick reloads
5. “Which can shoot the fastest?”
Any, depending on the trigger pull and how
fast I can squeeze trigger at the moment
SNAKEDOCTOR says
Excellent! My kind of guy. My neighbor asked me how many I had, I said sold them all, all I have is a SINGLE SHOT RIFLE & A ONE EYED DOG. Boggles their Liberal Socialist Anti-🔫 mind. Hello!!
Jim says
If anybody asks how many guns I have, I always tell them I sold all my guns to a Mexican cartel during the previous administration and I have no idea where they went. 🙂
Rivahmitch says
Amen!! (Though perhaps some of the answers preceded or followed with an FY).
Alan Servetnick says
My longtime friend and co-worker asked if he could pick my brain about guns and shooting. We spent about
4 hours as I showed him various hand and long guns, then I offered to take him and his wife to the range. About a week after that he called to ask me about a beginner shooter’s class which he immediately signed up for with his wife. They then registered for a CCW class and began shopping for two handguns and a shotgun.
There are many folks out there who are willing to learn about guns, the Constitution, and self-defense. Be aware that they are there and be helpful and respectful. Make new friends and compatriots.
Billy Warren says
How many guns do you have? Not as many as I want.
You can only use one at a time. Like your set of golf clubs.
You own guns. Plan to kill someone. You drive a car. Who you gonna run over?
Only insecure people own guns. Like people living in gated areas, bars over
windows with alarm systems, etc.
FYI. I think people have the right to provide security for their family by any means they choose
.
Mason says
Regarding shooting the fastest, I don’t try to shoot fast, it’s’ a waste of good ammo. It’s like the old saying that practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect. I shoot for accuracy as a sport, one at a time..
Daniel Braatz says
Speed is important; accuracy is final
Jeff says
Why do you have guns?
They’re the best way to shoot my bullets.
“Well how many do you have?”
More than I need and fewer than I want.
Which one is the most powerful?”
None are as powerful as portrayed on TV or in the movies.
“Which holds the most bullets?
The one with the biggest magazine.
”Which can shoot the fastest?”
Define “fastest.”
R.E.M. says
Oh you keep that gun loaded? Yes if not it is just a hammer.
CaptTurbo says
Why do you have guns?
There are sheep, there are sheep dogs, and there are wolves. I’m a sheep dog.
James says
I like that answer.
I feel it is the best I’ve read or heard.
Short, succinct, and it comes right to the point.
Ken says
Excellent answer
JK says
Captain Turbo is probably a Ranger or an ex-ranger. If there is such a thing. No one has ever relieved me of the responsibilities of the oath taken when I joined the Marine Corps. If you don’t know that oath, look it up. We who took it will never forget it. And the sheep should be grateful.
MGuns says
Semper Fi Brother!
Barry Shelley says
Friend, “I don’t know why someone needs an AR-15”.
My response, “Neither do I…I own three!”
david herd says
Why do you own a gun? because i cant throw a rock 2225 fps.
Smitty says
All my firearms shoot one bullet per trigger pull. No more no less.
Deplorable Sam says
Ah, no shotguns Smitty?
DAV says
The fact that there are people who ask those questions is proof of the success of the Dumbing Down of America program. They are the people who don’t know what a screwdriver is or how to use it…you know, the obomma type.
Alan says
Why do you have a gun? I reply why do you have insurance on your car? Why don’t you just wait until you are involved in an accident and then call and get insurance while you are waiting for the police.
Ben Willard says
LOL!!!!! Perfect!!!!!
Ben Willard says
I always like when they say “I never needed a gun”. Thats a good thing, never having to NEED one. Wonder if they have a fire extinguisher, even though they may have “never needed” it. Wonder if they have locks on all their doors but “never needed” them. Sound very inconsistent and hypocritical to me. 😵😲👆
To says
My reply to “I don’t need a gun” is that if you ever need a gun and don’t have one, chances are that you will never need one again.
SNAKEDOCTOR says
All of the comments I read so far on this article are spot on. Very entertaining to say the least. I just hope somebody reads these and decides to exercise their God Given right to protect themselves from harm. Our 2nd Amendment does just that. Teach or introduce a new gun enthusiast the proper way to handle a firearm. Be easy with them and be confident that will walk away as a newbie armed with newly obtained KNOWLEDGE.
D. Lancaster says
Why do I own guns? It depends on the situation. If things are peaceful they allow me to compete in fulfilling sports; if things are not peaceful they provide me another means of protection.
Judging from your question, I surmise that what you know about guns comes from people who are either ignorant about the subject or worse yet, trying to mislead you. If you are willing to discuss this with an open mind, I’m more than happy to discuss it with you. If, on the other hand, your mind is already made up regardless of the facts, we won’t waste our time.
Del says
After the Pulse Nightclub shooting, I had a coworker who came up and started asking questions about guns. I offered to take him to the to the range. It turned into taking several of his friends to the range. Most of them were Bay Area Liberal types (This was California). We started with 22’s and worked up to to 9 MM and up. Most enjoyed themselves. We had a good time teasing them about being careful this may turn you into a Republican. Almost all took more training and got CCW’s. The Sheriff in this Fresno County is VERY 2A friendly. I received a call election night from one of them “I voted for Trump!”
JonsOn says
It looks like someone truly WOKE up.
Roskob86 says
This is my favorite question to be asked. How many guns do you have?
I stopped counting at 100.
John says
What shoots the fastest? Probably my S&W 629, but it depends on the load.
Why do you own a gun? Because when seconds count, the police are minutes (hours , days or never) away.
Why do you need more than one gun? A. Because a second gun is faster than a reload. B. They each have their own uses or merits. C. My competition events require pistols, rifles and shotguns. D. As far as firearms go, I’m not monogamous and I have a rampant roving eye.
John T. Lisica says
An ultra liberal neighbor once asked me why I need more than one gun. Responding to her question, I asked why does she need more than one pair of shoes? She seemed frustrated:)
Tony Leona says
I am the Safety Officer for our local gun club and speak with a lot of new shooters, male and female. When asked how many guns I have, I usually let my wife answer…
She says she now has 5. When asked why, she very nicely explains she has one shotgun for Trap Shooting, a different shotgun for waterfowl hunting, a .270 for pig hunting and a .22 lr pistol and rifle for plinking and target shooting.
I then chime in about a different tool for each job. It typically goes very well, and even the wives gain interest… We now have a very nice, and growing list of women shooting Trap!
William Raszick says
Like most backward minds, I say ‘snug’ is my reason.
Scott says
How many guns do you have?
I answer 1 hand gun, 2 rifles, 1 left handed, 1 right handed, they get confused with that and what do I mean and I tell tell 1 for left handed shooting and 1 is for right handed shooting (shell ejection side). That usually leaves them scratching their heads.
Why do you own guns?
The same reason you do not own guns, so I can feel safe.
Art says
1. I own guns because they are tools. I suck with saws and such and I don’t get a kick out of making wood ducks. I greatly enjoy shooting and aren’t half bad at it. There is also the business of self defense. Where I live a bad person can rob & kill a person or rape and kill a woman before the police arrive at their average response time. It makes sense to have a tool I can use to keep that from happening to my family.
2. Don’t know. Many, in fact most of the guns I own are antiques, some flint locks, some cap locks, a few over 100 years old–they are works of art just as much as any painting or sculpture.
3. My most powerful gun is the one I can shoot the best for a given situation, whether it is at the skeet/trap range, the rifle range, the pistol range, or in a situation of self defense. Hopefully I will never find myself in that last situation, it isn’t something I look for.
4. Well, that would be my .22 rifle that holds about 12 rounds in the tube under the barrel. Guns that use magazines don’t hold more than the one in the chamber.
5. Well, from a holster, that used to be my 9mm that I used as a police officer, mostly because I practiced it a lot. Now, when I was in Viet Nam, that would be whatever rifle I was carrying at the time, shotgun, M14 or M16.
Bemused Berserker says
I don’t mind the questions or the ignorance that asks . ‘Tis part and parcel of protecting, supporting and defending the US Constitution.
Daniel Braatz says
I usually default to the smarmy side, but the sincere answers in this article reminded me that a stronger choice may be to try & help educate- you might even say it’s part of our responsibly as firearms owners. Albeit not as much fun. Here are a couple of my, self-indulgent, answers: “Do you have a gun?” — “”A,” as in one? No.” “Why do you have guns? Do you hunt?” – “No, I’ve never been that hungry.” [no disrespect to hunters & I have hunted at times; it’s just not *my* primary reason for owning firearms]
Also; there is a numerical answer to the question, “How many guns do you need?” It took me nearly 40 years to figure out that number; I shall now share it with y’all: The answer is, “Just one more.” Stay safe out there! ~dGb